Tales of Northern Lights

Electric green light is dancing around my head.

Emerald wisps are weaving their way across the horizon, coiling and curving around the coast of Seltjarnarnes peninsula. It is cold, it is nearly midnight, and we have just walked for about 45 minutes out of Reykjavík. I can see my breath. My toes are numb, my hands frozen. The hip-flask of whiskey smuggled in my friend's trusty anorak makes an appearance and, after a few warming swigs, we trudge along the sandy beach towards the end of the coast. It is dark; there are no street-lamps, no houses, just the sounds of the sea and its spidery waves scuttling about our feet. I look up, and I actually can't believe what I'm seeing. It appears that we have been caught in an electrical storm of florescent lights bolting across the sky, before fizzling out by the shore. No my friends, I have not been abducted by aliens. But away from the street-lamps and car-lights of the bustling town centre, something magical is happening: the Northern Lights are out. 

I didn't take this photo myself (stupid camera),
but this is pretty much sums it up......

I've seen the Northern Lights, or Aurora Borealis, once before; just a glimpse of green fuzz in the distance. But tonight, the lights are out in full force. The Northern Lights are something that anyone who visits Iceland in winter must try to experience: but you can never really predict them, and no two appearances will ever be the same. For those travelling to Iceland for the first time, just a glimpse of the Aurora Borealis is magical; in photographs the lights are still, but up close they dance and move and, if you are really lucky, rumour has it that they sing. Yet for Iceland's earliest settlers, only oral stories and legends about the mystical lights would have reached the ears of those sailing across the whale-road to Iceland. How on earth, then, did a little lone Viking in his longhouse one thousand years ago perceive such a magnificent light display? I like to imagine that our Viking friend believed the strange happenings in the sky to be the Norse gods rampaging about. It is not impossible to see how  - often the lights become tall and spiky, like Oðinn's spear, and at other times the sky tints red, as if blood has been spilled in Ásgarðr (Asgard). Perhaps Þórr (Thor) is angry and conjuring up an electrical storm? Maybe the large looming shapes are the frost-giants breaking free from Jotunheim and making war on the Æsir (Norse gods)? In fact, the strange figures in the sky really do look like great gods or ancestors fighting in the florescent fire-light. Stories of dragons and trolls, gods and giants come to life, as myth blends with the mysterious figures in the sky. I just can't believe what I'm seeing. All around the frozen sea-scape, a myriad of shapes are dancing and whirling, a smattering colour against the black-canvas sky. Iceland is alive, and the night is on fire.

Tales of Whales!....and sick bags

Oh dear god.

Esja, the snow-capped mountain
which looms over Reykjavík
(home to troll-lady Grýla and her delinquent sons)

I hate whales. As in, a knee-buckling at 'Free Willy' kind of hatred, a passing out during 'Finding Nemo', kind of fear. Yet after bobbing up and down in the Atlantic Ocean or wherever the hell I was today, I have somewhat rapidly discovered that sea sickness is far, FAR worse. To be honest, when your head is submerged somewhere between a paper bag and box of tissues, the last thing you care about is whales. In fact, I really couldn't have cared less if a whole herd of whales went tweeting by in top hats singing the national anthem, waving a giant banner declaring: 'HIII ANNA, WE ARE GIANT SCARY HUMPBACK WHALES'; I just wanted to get off that sodding boat. I mean, lordy me, there were icy-waves crashing over us and American tourists throwing up left, right and centre (first time in my life I'd ever seen them so quiet, in fact). Poor old Cecily had crumbled a long time ago, and was now reduced to sitting motionless in the corner, turning a rather startling shade of pale. We had agreed to go 'Whale Watching', for her birthday (which is today - Happy Birthday, Cec!) and plied ourselves with snúður með karamellu (an Icelandic cake, kind of like a caramel Chelsea bun only MORE HUMONGOUS) and were now regretting the decision considerably. I did feel a tad sorry for the wee scottish lad who admitted, 'oooch, I'm hanging! I've bin' on a four deey bender, I had beer for breeekfast and noow I'm hanging like a fish!' and proceeded to vom over the railings.

Iceland is beautiful, but dear lord it isn't half temperamental. We saw no whales at all (*phew*). Instead, we saw the fin of a rare white dolphin and lots and lots and lots of lots and lots of never-ending blue sea. There were gorgeous snow-white mountains tantalizing us in the background (land! stillness! alas...) and homicidal birds diving beneath the waves only to surface minutes later. No whales. Lots of sick. I'd like to say that I was peeved at such a turn of events, but in fact I didn't mind: it turns out that Elding, the tour company we went with, is firmly anti-whaling, and are actively seeking to create spaces dedicated to the conservation of whales. In fact, their catch phrase is: 'Whales - meet us, don't eat us!'. As a vegetarian who has frequently felt the wrath of the majority of Icelanders for my lack of carnivorous tendencies, it came as a pleasant surprise to discover that some Icelanders not only share my view that eating whale meat is barbaric, unnecessary and downright wrong, but they are actually doing something about it. So my money was not totally wasted, even if my breakfast was....

Cecily enjoying her first taste ofsnúður með karamellu,
(pre-sea sickness)

Despite head-in-a-bag nausea, whale watching was pretty cool. To be honest, it was just exciting to be ON the whale-road (a kenning or metaphor meaning 'sea', for those non-Norsey peeps) rather than being merely ACROSS it. I was half expecting Grendel's mother (Beowulf ref) or one of my sea-dwelling giantesses from Norse mythology to pop their head up and say hello (I bet they're not scared of whales), but alas all that transpired was a complimentary whale-watching ticket to 'give it another go' (fat chance), a dodgy stomach and no apparent cure for my whale phobia. alas.

Tales of Monobrows and Hitler

Soooo me and the sister were just casually chilling in Café Babalú   ( for those of you who don't know, it's Reykjavík's epic bright orange veggie café full of Fred Flinstone-themed awesomeness ) when a WALKING MONO-BROW just dandered right on in, complete with her dodgy-fringe daughter. I kid you not, it was like a living creature on this woman's face, a giant black caterpillar ChaCha-ing across her forehead. Zomg and no-one bothered to tell poor old Monobrow that a patent red fur-coat and gold sunglasses COULDN'T DISGUISE THE INSANE FURRY CREATURE LIVING ON HER FACE. It was bizarre.

Reykjavík looking pretty
 in the DAYLIGHT

So, when our pesto-panninis were finished ( I pretty much unhinged my jaw and swallowed, thanks to good old 'hangover-hunger' ), we decided to leave Monobrow to her skinny latté and dodgy-fringe daughter, when guess who ambled in? None other than a Hitler look-alike who was, wait for it, MONOBROW'S HUSBAND. It was the weirdest thing ever -- how did these two people BREED?! Hitler man had these little shark eyes and crisp suit and weirdly neat spirally-scarf ( not sure what was going on there ) and he was all starey and clinical. He actually reminded me of the freaky sado - dude from 'Girl with the Dragon Tattoo'. It was SO traumatic, especially when you still have a belly full of free Opal shots ( weird Icelandic alcohol that tastes like cough syrup ) and Aldi's basic vodka ( thanks, mum, for a taste of Britain ), the last thing we wanted to see was Hitler and Monny getting all cozy.

So we decided, to run away very quickly and purchase epic ice-cream dipped in melted chocolate, which is then rolled in crushed Smarties *just before* it solidifies. It is special ice-cream made in the old-fashioned way ( called 'gamli ísinn' ) which I think ( and Icelanders, please correct me if I am wrong? ) is made out of milk. Icelanders have a weird obsession with their ice cream ( it IS incredibly nommy ) and will be queuing outside the door of their local Ísbúðin ( ice cream shop ) at all hours. So Emily and I joined the ranks ( I wanted her to taste a little bit of Iceland, and make up for the awful Monobrow incident ) and nommed to our hearts content. Of course, the giant rat that greeted us on the stairs to my apartment negated any of the ice-cream goodness coursing through our veins. Trying to throw a shoe at a giant rat is surprisingly difficult. In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that our little rodent friend was actually a projection of Monobrow's giant face-monster, like a dæmon sent forward to mock us tauntingly with its beady eyes spaghetti tail. Emily's rather wistful comment: ' all we need is a big man with strong boots to come and stomp on it ', funnily enough transpired when, lo and behold, a  random Icelandic dude with big boots and leather gloves came dandering around the corner, and squished the rat in his magnificent-sized hands.

It was all very traumatic.

I'm not quite sure what my sister made of her Icelandic experience, but I hope she plucks her eyebrows and eats more Ice-cream when she gets back home to England.

'well helloooo'
Emily (my sister) relaxing after various Icelandic
adventures

Stay tuned for more Reykjavík adventures!